Buhtt sex?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
