If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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