Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
