my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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