We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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