i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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