areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
