How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize