I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
