well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
