it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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