He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
so let's talk penis.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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