super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
