what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
