the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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