so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
