I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
