so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
