my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
