blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
