Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize