I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
This is the high leading the old right now
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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