That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
