Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize