That was an excessively violent trivia night
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
