I wish I could punch you in the face.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
