Im at strip club and am horny
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Of course I have a pirate flag
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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