mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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