I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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