Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize