lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The air was thick with penises
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
