You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
