she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
