I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize