It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
