somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
