I wanna bring you to show and tell
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
