and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize