One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
