NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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