Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
