um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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