they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
