I think I died a long time ago.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
