Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
