im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
