There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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