a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
