you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
