Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
