I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
