I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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