Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
