I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
