my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
