dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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