you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
