I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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