called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
