What a fucking waste of an outfit
You work out of a Hotel?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
