NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
