But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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