I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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