I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
