It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize