this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
