apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
