i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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