I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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