I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize