i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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