i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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