Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
