We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
