If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Hippo gnu deer
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
